Needing a Vacation from Vacation...

First off Happy New Year to everyone reading! The holidays went by faster than a sneeze, am I right? This post is going to give you a taste of how the chapters in my book are written. How raw and personal I get and a little follow up on the way my book finished up as well.

For Christmas and New Years I vacationed with part of my family to the same place we went last year. The Sandy Lane Resort, if you know about the Sandy Lane Resort then you know it’s one of the hottest places you can stay in Barbados. Believe me I cannot afford this place and I have to pretend I am dreaming every time I get to go. I am absolutely grateful to say the least because this place is a fucking treat to say the least. I could really get a head of myself and then this post would be all about Sandy Lane and my love for Barbados, but that is not what this post is about. You read the title and you are probably asking why I need a vacation from my vacation if this resort was so amazing. It is amazing, BUT…. being a single mother and not having a nanny or a whole lot of help from my family, (everyone has their own agendas on vacation, I get it), I am with my kid all day, which is great don’t get me wrong, but I don’t get a whole lot of me time, hustling to get myself ready and looking fine as fuck for the evening (shut your mouth, I still look good), and trying to get my kid to sleep and the video monitor hooked up to make sure she doesn’t leave the hotel room. (She left the room twice the entire vacation). Luckily she was able to go to the kids club at the hotel this time around for a couple hours here and there so I could work out and read a few pages in the books I brought, and no I didn’t finish any of the books I brought which were half finished when I got there, (insert laughing/crying emoji), and she made some friends this time, because as she says, “I’m not a baby, I’m a big girl!'“

The second thing that made me need a vacation from this vacation was… Are you ready for this? My ex was there! No, not “Sperm Donor” (the dude Mischka is unfortunately related too), my ex that I met on the beach in Barbados last year. Long story short (this will all be in the book), we got into a serious relationship very fast, he told me he loved me, yada yada, I stupidly thought this was the one and he broke up with me over a text a day before Valentines Day because he couldn’t handle the simple task of communication long distance. I am honestly not sure why I attract the assholes and NO I don’t want your opinion on why I might attract them. Let’s just chalk it up too, #daddyissues to make all of you judgy mother fuckers happy and call it a day! Moving right along, shall we? So originally my ex was not going to be there. Yes, we kept in touch, Yes, he apologized (kind of), and Yes, (because I know you are thinking it), I may have visited him once after broke up and YES, we may have slept together because I still had feelings, and well you know the rest, hopefully you aren’t a 13 year old reading this because you surely would not understand. I broke one of my biggest rules which is that I do not sleep with anyone I am not in a relationship with and I do not go back to my ex’s if we aren’t officially back together. But today, my rules do stand strong.

OK, sorry I went off track just a tad. As I was saying, ex dude wasn’t supposed to be on this vacation. We chatted about it and it was said that he was going to spend it with his family and at the last minute he was asked to be on this vacation again. He seemed excited that we were both going to be on this trip. I was hesitant because I knew it would go one of both ways. First way, we reconnect and get back together, second way, we don’t and I get all pissed off because he shows his true colors again, true colors meaning being an asshole. Anyone can act a certain way over text, but in person is what matters. Well the second way is how it went. Honestly it was really hurtful, just very disrespectful and thankfully it made me completely un-attracted to him. That doesn’t mean I didn’t give him a mouthful about what I thought of his behavior! That wouldn’t be me at all. I get some of you don’t know me, so if you don’t, I don’t hide how I am feeling and I certainly don’t hide what needs to be said.

So ya, monitoring kid on vacation and dealing with asshole ex. Shaking my fucking head. Oh I am sorry, did you want me to make that into an acronym so you didn’t have to read each word? I kid I kid! Calm down! I am definitely due for a vacation on my own which I have never done since before my daughter was born. Crazy right? I know, I can’t believe it myself, I should get an award. Honestly tho, the vacation was great despite the little potholes. I made some genuine friendships, my daughter had a fucking blast, my lips weren’t chapped the whole time (my lips are always chapped in New York), good food, sun, drinks, you get the picture.

Many people come up with a New Years resolution, but I don’t really believe in New Years resolutions. I guess I want to stay true to who I am and my convictions and what I deserve which has been my attitude and my way of life for a while now. It’s taking me places and people aren’t messing with me. I just want to keep that going for myself in the New Year. Staying true to who I am, a Single AF boss mom boss! HAHA… But seriously, I have a confidence in myself this past year that has made ME proud of myself and I don’t really care if anyone else is. Through all of the potholes I am making it all work for me and always picking out the weeds and doing my best to avoid the potholes along the way. (Did I sound all life coachy right there? Well I am one, sooooo..)

Alright my friends! Again, Happy 2019, be yourself, and if you are having trouble with that, hit my cute ass up and I will help you build the rock solid confidence that I have built. It’s not easy, so don’t beat yourself up about it!

Lots of love xx

SINGLE AF

Unconventional or Over The Top

My Mom was just in town for almost two weeks. You are probably thinking, damn you must have just raged Mollie. No I didn’t, in fact I didn’t go out once. Everyone had plans or was out of town, etc. It pissed me off at first as though I was missing out, I had this free “Grandma Babysitter” right here, but then I realized I really wasn’t missing a thing. I worked during the day, I spent time with my family and I got some really good exercise in for my upcoming Holiday trip where I will be spending the majority of time in a swimsuit. I wouldn’t say I ever over do it anymore, sometimes it’s just nice to go out and socialize a bit. I stopped any type of partying well before I even got pregnant. Please note that I am not at all trying to preach that I am better than anyone, but as I have gotten older, into my 30’s, I am realizing that there are certain things that people do that just aren’t attractive to me whether they are a friend, family or a potential love interest. I am specifically talking about PARTYING!

I know I know, stop being judgy Mollie. I personally don’t think that I am. I have read too many things about what happens to your body as you get older and how the partying will, undoubtedly, catch up with you, which is why I stopped a long time ago. I have had to revamp my friend circle quite a bit because of the bad habits that were leaching into their demeanors and actions towards me and their own lives. The other thing I have a hard time with is parents who are still partying their asses off. I am not talking about the occasional night out and one too many drinks or the end of the night, your kids are in best and you want to take some of that good CBD made from Marijuana that you got in Cali to help you relax and hopefully give you 6 hours of sleep. No, those are what I like to call the “unconventionally normal” ways of life and adulting. I am talking about the parents that are still constantly smoking cigarettes and then touching their children, or the parents that are still constantly doing hard drugs. WHY DID YOU HAVE KIDS? Aren’t you supposed to be over that part of your life by the time you have them. These are parents who planned having their kids, I didn’t even plan having my kid. Let me remind you that most of this is just my opinion but I will throw you some facts at the end with some goo reading material to try and prove my point.

I get judge a lot on my appearance and the fact that I am a single mother. I have tattoos all over my body and I am certainly not done getting myself inked, I wear some outrageous outfits on occasion and I speak my mind. “Mollie must be doing all the other bad things that we would assume a tattooed, cursing pirate mouth, single mom with a bastard child would be doing.” Well my friends, you guessed wrong. I am probably one of the most innocent in most of my friend circles.

Third Hand Smoke

There are many more articles like this one. Just google it.

I am not sitting here telling you that I think you need to grow up and be frigid, boring human being. I just don’t think a lot of people are aware or educated enough on the health risks they are taking for themselves and most importantly their children. I have a family member who was affected late in her life by exactly what I am talking about. People making poor choices around her. If you are one of these people still making really unhealthy choices into your 30’s and 40’s and you have families just know you are posing a health risk on them later in life. If you happen to be getting offended by this post than it’s pretty clear you need to make some changes. This isn’t just about smoking, it’s about drugs as well. If you are sitting around snorting cocaine, even if it’s outside the house and it gets on your close and then you come home, you touch your child or your toys and “oh shit” it gets on your kids stuff. Not a good deal. I know a couple of people who have had their children reach into their persons and pull something out that they were supposed too. I won’t go into anymore detail than that. Be smart you, you made a choice to have children which means your hardcore party days and disgusting bad habits should be a distant memory.

I say all of this with love! xo

Boot Camp Coaching: Manifesting vs. Doing

One of the 4 jobs I currently do is Life Coaching. I got into it a few years ago because of my master coach. She inspired me because her approach was so much about doing. There was always homework, always actions I had to be proving. It made a lot of sense to me. I had previously spoken to life coaches who did a lot with manifesting, writing things down, meditating. It just wasn’t my thing, it works for some people, but at the end of the day (and I am fully aware I may get some heat for this), the only thing that gets you results is DOING!

Yes, I read “The Secret” back in the day, I made a manifesting/dream board or whatever it was called. Guess what, it didn’t work, getting off my ass and working my ass off worked! A dream board helps with one thing, it acts as your task list. I will tell my clients to make them only as a task list because I for one am an image person, so I will have people make it in a checklist format. My way of coaching is in boot camp style. I am a realist. I do not believe in meditation, I do not believe in consistently talking about your problems. I work with your personal issues within the first month you work with me and then…WE TAKE ACTION! If you are rolling your eyes right now and thinking I am being judgy or harsh, I am not. Let me be clear on one thing, I never form an opinion or voice my convictions unless I have experienced what I am talking about. People come to work with me on their lives and careers because they want to see results and they are tired of trying to manifest what they want to happen. Get out and do it, don’t be afraid to fail. In fact I want you to fail so that you can see what it feels like and show yourself your a badass mother fucker who doesn’t take no for an answer.

My approach doesn’t work for everyone, but for those that like this bootcamp, no bullshit, realistic approach, it works wonders, it builds confidence, it turns you into someone who doesn’t have fears or a bunch of insecurities. You turn into a boss. I am not just saying this, I know this, because I once had a lot of fears, but I don’t anymore. If I want something I go get it, all in legal positive ways obviously!!! I knew what some of you might have been thinking, NO, I wouldn’t rob a bank if I wanted money, turn off that damn movie mind!

You want a new job, you hate Mondays? Go out and find your dream job, fucking work for it. Easier said than done right? Well if you want easy, go move to Costa Rica, because life and getting what you want isn’t easy, but I personally think that’s what makes it fun. That’s also something I teach, the thrill, the excitement and satisfaction of getting what you want through all the blood and sweat. It truly makes you feel like a badass. You want that vacation? Go out and fucking get it, do the research, make calls, get friendly over the phone with the front desk of the hotel, keep calling, find those deals. It will happen. You want that house? Go get your credit looking flawless, get that loan, make your bank trust your hustle. You want kids? Oh I hear the excuses already, this is the one thing I constantly hear about when I work with both single men and women. YES, with the men as well. I am just going to throw out a list and you can do the research. Adoption, cryobanks, surrogates, dating… I despise whining and feeling sorry for yourself, go get it if you want it!

I am happy to help be a trainer so to speak, a life coach, your bootcamp instructor, mentor or whatever terms makes you feel more comfortable. I want a real life approach to how you become happy, badass and successful. So your yoga and meditation might be helping your mood and you should definitely keep doing it, but come to me for the action in the lists and manifesting you have been doing, I want to see these lists sweat!

*Don’t forget to go and vote on Tuesday!

Orgasms & Ice Cream Parlors...

The title caught you off guard right?! GOOD! What more do you need when you are single AF? Oh you think you need a companion to make you feel content? Not necessarily. A good vibrator does the trick just fine. It doesn’t argue, it’s never late, it doesn’t climax first (or ever for that matter), you don’t have to cuddle…you get my drift. Ok so it doesn’t cook or clean, or make you a cocktail after a long day, but let’s be honest, are there many companions out there that do that for you when you come home from a long day?

So the point here is, if you want something, fucking go and get it yourself. You want an orgasm, great go get it, there are plenty of amazing vibrators and toys on the market that will keep you ever so satisfied. You want a kid? You have many options right in front of you! Ya I know I didn’t believe it myself and Men this means you as well. There are plenty of great sperm donors and surrogates for that dude desperate to be a Dad, but just hasn’t found the right girl. I have a plan in life and I don’t let anything get in the way of my plan. Unfortunately not everyone is down for your plan and dating can get in the way big time and prolong what you truly want.

The cryobanks are no joke. I found out about them from a very prominent fertility doctor while playing with the idea of getting my eggs frozen. Come to find out that I have a lot of eggs and freezing them would cost an arm and a leg…So no thanks, I don’t need to put those little fellas on ice just yet, but I am having quite the hay day checking out all the eligible sperm donors that I never ever have to deal with and low and behold they will provide me with a little baby. It’s like going to the ice cream parlor. Don’t know what flavor you want? Are you feeling like strawberry, a little swirl of chocolate and some caramel syrup? Well you are in luck, the cryobank provides you with pretty much anything you are looking for, even better than the ice cream parlor, you get straight down to the DNA specifics!

WOW! I know you mind is blown right now, you don’t have to hide it, I bet some of you have even gone straight to the California Cryobank website, maybe even registered to take a deeper look. It’s cool, I am not judging at all!

Have fun hunting for your perfect flavor…Stresses be gone!