Boot Camp Coaching: Manifesting vs. Doing

One of the 4 jobs I currently do is Life Coaching. I got into it a few years ago because of my master coach. She inspired me because her approach was so much about doing. There was always homework, always actions I had to be proving. It made a lot of sense to me. I had previously spoken to life coaches who did a lot with manifesting, writing things down, meditating. It just wasn’t my thing, it works for some people, but at the end of the day (and I am fully aware I may get some heat for this), the only thing that gets you results is DOING!

Yes, I read “The Secret” back in the day, I made a manifesting/dream board or whatever it was called. Guess what, it didn’t work, getting off my ass and working my ass off worked! A dream board helps with one thing, it acts as your task list. I will tell my clients to make them only as a task list because I for one am an image person, so I will have people make it in a checklist format. My way of coaching is in boot camp style. I am a realist. I do not believe in meditation, I do not believe in consistently talking about your problems. I work with your personal issues within the first month you work with me and then…WE TAKE ACTION! If you are rolling your eyes right now and thinking I am being judgy or harsh, I am not. Let me be clear on one thing, I never form an opinion or voice my convictions unless I have experienced what I am talking about. People come to work with me on their lives and careers because they want to see results and they are tired of trying to manifest what they want to happen. Get out and do it, don’t be afraid to fail. In fact I want you to fail so that you can see what it feels like and show yourself your a badass mother fucker who doesn’t take no for an answer.

My approach doesn’t work for everyone, but for those that like this bootcamp, no bullshit, realistic approach, it works wonders, it builds confidence, it turns you into someone who doesn’t have fears or a bunch of insecurities. You turn into a boss. I am not just saying this, I know this, because I once had a lot of fears, but I don’t anymore. If I want something I go get it, all in legal positive ways obviously!!! I knew what some of you might have been thinking, NO, I wouldn’t rob a bank if I wanted money, turn off that damn movie mind!

You want a new job, you hate Mondays? Go out and find your dream job, fucking work for it. Easier said than done right? Well if you want easy, go move to Costa Rica, because life and getting what you want isn’t easy, but I personally think that’s what makes it fun. That’s also something I teach, the thrill, the excitement and satisfaction of getting what you want through all the blood and sweat. It truly makes you feel like a badass. You want that vacation? Go out and fucking get it, do the research, make calls, get friendly over the phone with the front desk of the hotel, keep calling, find those deals. It will happen. You want that house? Go get your credit looking flawless, get that loan, make your bank trust your hustle. You want kids? Oh I hear the excuses already, this is the one thing I constantly hear about when I work with both single men and women. YES, with the men as well. I am just going to throw out a list and you can do the research. Adoption, cryobanks, surrogates, dating… I despise whining and feeling sorry for yourself, go get it if you want it!

I am happy to help be a trainer so to speak, a life coach, your bootcamp instructor, mentor or whatever terms makes you feel more comfortable. I want a real life approach to how you become happy, badass and successful. So your yoga and meditation might be helping your mood and you should definitely keep doing it, but come to me for the action in the lists and manifesting you have been doing, I want to see these lists sweat!

*Don’t forget to go and vote on Tuesday!

Be YOUR perfect, NOT someone elses...

    There is a question I get quite often, “how do you change rolls when you are with your daughter?”  I am a ghost writer, I work with some characters to say the least and I love what I do because I don’t have to be someone I’m not.  I don’t have to censor myself, wear a stiff suit and put a smile on my face if I don’t feel like it.  Yes, I still have an air of professionalism and I have to put on a tad more of a censored face (so to speak) for my life coaching clients, but with the music business you get to be who you are at home and at work, if people don't like you or your personalities don't mesh well then you typically don't work with them.  When people ask me how I change roles the answer is quite simple...I DON’T!  I tend to point this out a lot, but I am not a conventional parent.  I curse like a sailor and yes I do it around my kid, I am not showing off about it in any way, but I don’t do what a lot of parents do and cover my mouth like “opps I shouldn’t have said that.”  It's just the way we role in my house hold of two.  I don’t need to be something I am not around my kid and that’s just my opinion on the way that I like to parent.  I have mature conversations with my kid, you should see us when we go out to dinner just the two of us, it’s like any two grown friends just having good conversation and eating good food, she is honestly the best dinner date I have ever had.  I know I am doing just fine in the parenting department, foul mouth or not (insert laughing/crying emjoji)!  

    I don’t feel the need to really sensor myself in front of most people, I am not rude by any means, but I want everyone to get the real me right off the bat.  My way of communication and living seems to have worked out fine for me, I think it has worked in my favor actually.  I have many people who love working with me, I think because I am so comfortable in my skin and I show it, it makes other people feel like they can be themselves with me as well.  I am telling you it makes for a great working environment when people don’t feel like they are walking on egg shells.  People try too hard to be “perfect” in my opinion, even with their own families, children, friends, work associates.  Trying to be what they think those other people want them to be.  I say fuck that, trying to be something you aren’t makes you unhappy.  If you are completely changing who you are, especially with the people you love, you are leading yourself down a road of dishonesty.  

    Bringing it back to my daughter, I truly believe that the children you are raising respect you more and have a certain type of connection with you that is really strong, when they are able to see all your true colors, all of your emotions and have the ability to speak with them about all of it when it might not make sense.  Although I speak to my child like an adult a lot of the time, I do understand that she doesn’t always know what is going on as smart as she is and as much as she wants to understand I am constantly reminding myself that she is just a toddler.  There is a lot of innocence in situations and conversations, trying to figure out how to make sense to her and not treat her like a baby.  Sometimes it’s like learning a different language, you don’t understand it all at first, but that doesn’t mean you quit, you keep listening and listening and eventually it all starts to make sense.  My little babe is a great listener and the people I like to surround myself with are good listeners.  Figure out exactly who you want to be day to day in order to make yourself happy, healthy and living well.  Tell the haters to kick rocks.  I want to be respected for me and not who others want me to be as a parent, in the work place and in life in general.  Let me live!  So the straight answer to the question of how I change rolls, “I am a loving badass boss everywhere I step foot!”

xo Single AF Momma